Monday Morning

Though I don’t talk to Vanlal a lot, whenever I do, it’s usually intriguing and I come to some revelation. Today it was the not-so-startling admission that I am somewhat out of control of my life. Additionally, I still haven’t resolved the feeling that I am not a complete member of any group that I belong to, that I’m always on the fringe. Perhaps express it as my favorite poet did: “You only want me when I get over you.” :) Of course, pair that with my of-late ambivalence and lack of control, then I can only answer my feeling of social loneliness how Buckingham did:

But I don’t mind. I don’t mind.


06 2005

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  1. 1

    I think I might feel exactly the same way.

  2. txkimmers #

    Another startling revelation for you: you are not alone in feeling that way. So, you are part of another group and didn’t even know it. On the other hand, that group of people have a horror of acknowledging their groupness to one another, and so remain fringy. And in fact, forget I said anything at all about this.

  3. 3

    I relinquished control of my life a long, long time ago. I’d hesitate to say I ever had control of it at any point. Not sure I even care much to try and control it, either. Seems like it would be an exercise in futility.