Posts Tagged ‘Humorous Intentions’

My Mom (by Emma)

Shortly after typing up the previous entry, I found Emma’s preschool riff on Mother’s Day.

Dated 5/6/09

I think my mom is 35 years old. [she overshot a little]

My mom’s favorite color is green. [sure, why not!]

I like it when my mom cooks macaroni/ravioli

I like it when my mom takes me to Children’s Together Park [it’s only the coolest park in town, that’s why]

When I cry, my mom helps me.

My mom call me Emma. [Not according to this]

My mom’s job is working at her computer. [sigh, that was before I had legitimate “work” reasons to be at my computer 😉 ]

14

09 2009

My Mom (by Katya)

Cleaning my desk (yes, shocking) I found this set of prompts Katya answered for first grade last year.

My Mom

My mom is a great mom.

My mom likes to cook a smootie. [smoothie]

My mom knows I’m cute.

My mom says clean your room.

My mom can nurcher her child. [you figure it out! my daughter is a suck-up]

My mom wishes that one of my teeth will fall out.

My mom loves her children.

My mom is a great mom.

14

09 2009

IM’ing Katya

There’s been a renaissance of instant messaging in our house. After I sent Katya a variety of smileys, including a very mad one, we had the following exchange:

(12:34:15 PM) K: do you need to go in a time out
(12:34:26 PM) tiertreu: yes!
(12:35:34 PM) K: key now go in your bedroom
(12:36:04 PM) ***tiertreu stomps to her bedroom
(12:36:12 PM) tiertreu: (many more mad faces)
(12:36:16 PM) tiertreu: WAAAAH
(12:40:07 PM) K: you may come out when you learn not to get mad
(12:40:20 PM) tiertreu: but I’m not mad!
(12:40:27 PM) tiertreu: I’m silly?
(12:40:52 PM) K: your coco
(12:41:09 PM) tiertreu: I know =))

Just was amused. They never have timeouts!

18

08 2008

Toby’s Lungs

Emma offered the insight in the car today (and I can’t remember why) that Toby’s lungs hurt him because he had no teeth.

After we giggled, I started trying to explain what they really did. “…and then your heart…”

“…pumps your blood around your body,” says Katya.

“Why yes! Good job!”

“And you need blood to make your owwies,” finished Emma.

08

06 2008

Technology Workers of the Future Need Fine Motor Skills Today

Toby is the age that loves grabbing. While nursing he’ll flail around with his free hand, usually holding my mouth or nose, or sometimes magically detecting when I try to work on a logic puzzle and smacking the book on top of himself.

When he’s less distracted and I’m more so, usually when I’m holding him at the computer, he’ll work on his goal to clear my desk of all that pesky clutter. He’ll lunge from Point A to Point B, drop Item C to grab Item D, and inadvertently knock over Item E in the process. After C and E are replaced, he’ll lose interest in D and simultaneously grab C and E, where C-E can range from important papers for crumpling, snacks (he has a sense of entitlement when it comes to food), gadgets, or pens and pencils that inevitably lead to poking himself. He particularly has a penchant for those gadgets. If it’s good enough for Mommy, Daddy, or even Katya, then it’s good enough to take away from them.

Music is my girl friend...While shopping for a toy phone to replace his saliva-covered LG AX5000 (previously owned, by Mommy), I came across a meager attempt at a combo pack: merely a flip phone and a set of keys. Heck, even the gym he got for Christmas has an extra add-on in which to insert an mp3 player (yes, you have to buy something separately just to use your own mp3 player…).

In Toby’s dream world, the gadget combo pack would contain not only a phone, but it’d be media-ready and automatically network with video chat to other babies in the neighborhood. The little battery-operated dog would not only wind up to walk, but also learn and associate his coos with specific actions; “muh” would lead to the dog retrieving a new toy and “goooo” would spit out a Cheerio. Since he doesn’t actually know his letters yet, much less the layout of a QWERTY keyboard, his tummytop would be touch-screen, of course. At this point, his most used application would be the interactive slideshow of family pictures, but it’d also have a webcam to turn the tummytop into an interactive mirror toy. After awhile, he’d associate the icon of a bottle or a bowl of squash (customizable by the parent). Maniacally smacking the icon would send an instant message to the correct parent that it was feeding time.

Pheww. I could go on all day dreaming up these things. I have just one request however. When you do ultimately see these items for sale, please don’t tell me about it. I don’t really need to know that babies of today have fancier gadgets than me.

09

03 2008

John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt, that’s my name too!

Partially for fun, partially to remember some of the nicknames the girls have implemented in our family, I diagrammed the following chart.

Diagram of family nicknames

27

02 2008

Career Matchmaking, or Otherwise Entitled Why I Like Working From Home

After seeing a link for a career matchmaking test on Rebecca’s blog, I’m not sure what to make of my future.

1. Taxidermist
2. Massage Therapist
3. Welder
4. Tilesetter
5. Boilermaker
6. Pet Groomer
7. Security Systems Technician
8. Criminologist
9. Sign Maker
10. Electrician

Aside from being utterly depressing, these results are just…strange. I’m pretty sure I put “meh” on the questions about using tools. I don’t even get a scientific career until Podiatrist at #20 (unless you count Prosthetist / Orthotist at #14, which I’m pretty sure has never been anyone’s dream job).

You can be similarly befuddled! Directions: Go to careercruising.com. Enter nycareers as the username and landmark as the password. Take the “Career Matchmaker” survey. Post the top ten results.

14

09 2007

The opposite of tall and dark, but still full of mystery

As many of you know, a couple weeks ago I started getting some strange email from a Met Onaplane with a throwaway Yahoo email, that I initially believed to be from a real life stalker (of sorts). His first email, while rather polite, invited me to a message board and primarily felt creepy because he was claiming to be someone who had sat next to me on the flight to London (where I neither gave an email nor a name)! However, the tale continued… Read the rest of this entry →

26

07 2007

Katya and Emma Snippets

I hope to write up some of the highlights of our trip to London, especially those parts that aren’t covered by photos we took (which aren’t all uploaded to flickr yet). But in the meantime, I present some amusing kid stories I’ve been hoarding.

Katya and Emma march into the kitchen, shouting “Katya is 5! Katya is 5!” Upon closer examination, Katya is waving a popsicle stick sign that said “Katya is 5” where the “s” is backwards. Adorable.

From the more cringe-inducing department, Emma has long been obsessed with hair and eye color (most likely because everyone she meets instantly comments on her blond hair). On at least two occasions, she’s bounced over to me after meeting a new (black) child and announced loudly, “That’s my friend with black hair!” More cringe-inducing because I think she’s going to say “black…skin” and then have a million people stare at me as if I’m teaching my kid weird things.

Katya muses about how to spell “spoon.” “How do you spell ‘foon’? Hmmm… F?” (Yes, she has trouble with her sp and related sounds.)

This is no longer an isolated incident, but I did write down Katya praying “Thank you for postmans, and librarians.” She has since been thankful for such things as “the earth, which You created a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long time ago. That’s a lot of longs.” I guess I should be happy that she doesn’t have a prayer formula.

18

05 2007

Katya on tumblr




Katya on tumblr

Originally uploaded by Meer.

I decided to add my Amazon wishlist to my tumbl feeds because I don’t add stuff often, but when I do, it’s usually something significant. So imagine my surprise opening my tumblr page and seeing row after row of pink goodness.

I had shown Katya how Amazon wishlists worked yesterday, but then she had been saving her items to her own folder. On the bright side, I guess you can never have too many Barbie Forever Tawny Horse with Majestic Manes.

24

04 2007