Posts Tagged ‘Humorous Intentions’

Airfare expensive? Please read!

No one can underestimate the utility of Google Maps. Unfortunately, they’re not much help with Step 29.

Note: I can’t claim responsibility for finding this.

(Strange: Google now just tells you that it can’t give you driving instructions. It used to have a step for crossing the Atlantic Ocean)

06

04 2007

Brief History of Pop

In four chords and an accent. See how many you can identify before checking out the spoilers.

Yes, I know this is in my delicious links, but now that I’ve hidden the page, how can I be sure you’re all getting your dose of youtube in the morning?

15

12 2006

The requested wishlist, chosen from the most dangerous toys ever:

Atomic Energy Lab: “Even more uncertain is the longterm impact of being raised by the kind of nerds who would give their kid an Atomic Energy Lab…”

Johnny Reb Cannon: I am in the South, you know. “What better way to permanently maim your little brother while spreading valuable lessons about states’ rights?”

Manley Toys Disco Light: “Dancers are now advised to use the fun sphere for no longer than four hours at a time, which is about four hours longer than any kid should be disco-ing.”

You can see “my” full wishlist at Radar Magazine. It includes hot plates disguised as toys, impaling projectiles, and animatronic cannibals (thanks to kn0w1 for the link).

15

12 2006

Books read:1 (v.g)

Weight: more than 125 lbs (think v. unfair short people get smaller numbers for weight), self-indulgent books read: 1 (not good), self-indulgent conversations had: 10, alcohol units: 0 (v.g., but diminished perhaps by status of not drinking anyway), number of times fantasized about Colin Firth: 0 (hmm, must do something about that)

Did indulge in reading Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason (only $1 at the thrift shop, justified as must catch up with rest of society). Feel frightened that I must now think like her, also frightened by seeming obsession with Pride and Prejudice to blog-readers (simply not true). Feel sympathy for singletons everywhere, however, much gladness re: finding Mark (not Mark Darcy, Mark Hoopes) with little drama.

Also, do not see connection between character of Bridget and that of Elizabeth. Very offended.

Hope I never turn into Bridget Jones. Wonder how one knows if one is turning into a simpleton. Consoled by fact that I have skills.

Saving Graces:

Ability to use internet, esp. to google for facts and like items, re: important news around the world.

I can cook. Really well.

Does not constantly include everyone near me in private musings. Ok, maybe a little, if honest to self.

Have never read self-help book. Perhaps there is a self-help book for people like me, along lines of Self-help for the Self-helpless.

Suddenly have idea for a new movie/book/other like media review site, where reviews presented in manner of the book or movie being reviewed. Am heartened by thoughts of Web Stardom. Fear that I do not remember the difference between syntax and diction, also must research artist’s voice. Also idea probably already done somewhere on web. Note to use google to find such thing. Unfortunately watch few movies. Books read slightly better. Resolve to watch movies of artsy nature, to increase presence of mind and ability to be coy and cunning. Also to impress Ashwan.

04

10 2006

Cliff notes not needed

If I am to break radio silence, one must imagine that it could only be for something of dire importance, such as viewing Kiera Knightely in the new(ish) Pride and Prejudice, which book I am quite fond of. While it did not offend the sensibilities much to see Lizzie so beautiful, nor so astonishingly self-aware, one must inquire what the movie makers hoped to achieve by hitting the viewers over the head with the equivalent of a large-type leather-bound printing of the book. If one is to invent their own dialogue in the manner of Jane Austen, surely something better could be achieved than having Lizzie tell her father, “[Mr. Darcy and I] are so similar. We’re both so stubborn! *giggle*” Surely American viewers are not so dense as to require schooling in one of the main themes of such a well-known piece and collectively feel their intelligences to be insulted. Still, the movie managed to succeed in eliciting some feelings of romanticism regarding Mr. Darcy and Miss Elizabeth, such has plagued scores of schoolgirls for centuries.

—–
In other news, perhaps more important in some eyes than the above (though surely I’d have to ask where your priorities lie!), Mark and I have successfully traveled cross-country from Colorado via El Paso, Fort Worth, Memphis, and Morristown, TN, to our rightly state (or city) in Cary, NC. Being too lazy to rewrite some of which I already have, I direct you to my flickr set for that trip, some of which has narration. Also, we are under contract to buy a house with a pretty bit of ground and we’d invite all Shugenkai Summer School attendees to follow us back for the after-party, but since we would not yet own the house, we would soon tire of having the realtor let us in each time we desired to retire from the deck to the family room.

I apparently need to get to bed soon. My brain appears a bit fuddled still from that slightly confused movie.

01

08 2006

Alternate Plea to Encourage Offspring to Consume Their Dinner

A-B-C-D-Eat your food-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-Please. Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Why-because-I-said-so-Z. Now you’ve eaten all your food, maybe next time I will too.

Result: Extra snickering, less consumption. Needs work.

05

05 2006

Is it still cheating if she looks like you?

My sister says I keep getting her in trouble.

So, pay attention. Jan’s husband’s brother’s wife’s sister saw a picture of Jan with another man online (scroll down to the 7th row). And this was something she thought Jan’s husband Greg should know. As she told Greg’s brother about this picture she found, they informed her that Jan has a twin sister.

In the past, I was also stopped by another Greg brother while I shopped for Mark’s wedding ring.

You think you know someone, and it turns out they’re a polygamist!

01

10 2005

Ultima Online “Eighth Age”

Eighth Age is Ultima Online’s foray into the new mmorpg world dominated by WoW. Why should you pre-buy it? Well for one, it “comes with a free advanced character (a $29.99 value).” Glad to see they’re testing the eBay market ahead of time too.

And slightly on that note: A World of Warcraft World

20

09 2005

Life Journal predicts life span?




Life Journal predicts life span?

Originally uploaded by Meer.

Based on when Life Journal placed certain events in my life history, I can figure out how much longer until middle adulthood. Perhaps if I pay extra for the “midlife crisis package” it will delay how long until middle adulthood appears…

In case you were wondering, it ends at late adulthood. No “senile years” or “years with decreased capacity”.

15

09 2005

here they come…




here they come…

Originally uploaded by Pumpkin Patch.

A group of “zombies” marched through town, stormed a McDonald’s, all intent on attacking…a group of role-playing medieval fighters.

21

07 2005